Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
