You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
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The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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