good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
