At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
