You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
