how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
