I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
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Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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