the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
