is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
