you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize