break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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