i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize