dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
