but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?