He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hello my rib-scented angel!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.