Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.