Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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