You smell like stripper and shame
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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