I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
