I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
