Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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