OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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