SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
