so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
