Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hippo gnu deer
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
