I think my fart just growled at me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
