Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
