sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
