moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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