He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
