i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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