you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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