it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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