ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
