when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
