I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Congratulations! We have a period
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