i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
