you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
