we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
