dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
