would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
