don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry my hands just texted you
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
