oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
