Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I skipped work to stalk him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
