LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
