I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize