so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
