is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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