She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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