Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
