Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
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If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
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I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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