I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
