he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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