Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
