I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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