im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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