Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
